Harry Styles Isn't Your Boyfriend
Recently, I was catching up on the fourth season of New Girl, when Nick (a character in the series, if you didn't know already) said something that made me think.
“The problem with Jordan Catalano? He isn’t real!”
For all of you younger than 25, or for anyone who hasn't watched My So-Called Life, Jordan Catalano (played by a very young Jared Leto) is the popular kid in high school, adored by basically every female in the whole school.
He's the typical romantic figure of every romantic movie/series/book ever written. He's popular, arrogant, the prototypical bad boy. Who falls in love with the wallflower who lived unnoticed by the male sex up until that moment. And it turns out that Jordan isn't all that bad. What a surprise.
Anyway, back to the quote.
As much fun as it is to get lost in thinking about being with the Mr. Darcy’s or Harry Styles’ in a fictional world, that's all that it is, fictional.
It's a great distraction for all the times you can't / don't want to cope with the real world, but at the end of the day it cannot compete with having real relationships (romantic or not) with real people.
And I don't want to say that you shouldn't daydream of your alternative life with the boyfriend/girlfriend/friend of your choice! By all means, go ahead. I'm pretty good at that myself.
But when it comes to being in a real relationship, stop comparing it to your imaginary one. It won't ever be as perfect as it is in the movies/books, at least not forever. Not to forget that basically no fictional romantic interest is ever perfect, but we're pretty good at forgetting about that and turning them into the ultimate/perfect person. And against that perfect being, your real relationship will not stand a chance.
Personally, I think this is one of the factors why it is so difficult for our generation to commit to a serious relationship. Because there could be someone better out there. Because there could be the perfect one for me out there. So instead of committing to someone, we let them go, in the hope for something more romantic, more intense, just more in general.
And I don't want to say that you should stay in a relationship that you are clearly not happy with, don't get me wrong here! If you are unhappy and you tried your best to make it work, get out of that relationship before it drags you down!
But if you are just thinking about finding the possible perfect someone, let me stop you right there. There is no such thing as perfect, neither you nor me nor Jordan Catalano or Harry Styles are perfect. (I know, hard to believe.)
So stop living in your imaginary world, as fun as it is, and at least get out of there for some parts of the day. By living in your head, you might pass up on real life opportunities to have fun, and to possibly find the next-to-perfect special someone!
I'm probably/most certainly not the best to give any of you relationship advice, and I'm definitely guilty of rather wanting to live in my head than dealing with everyday life, but at the end of the day, your daydreams should not be more than a welcome distraction of the real world.
So keep on dreaming about whomever you want. Keep on reading books or fan fiction, and keep on watching those rom coms. But remember that at the end of the day, Harry Styles will not crawl out of you TV.
And if he does, call me. Immediately!! ;)
Anyway, I hope this pep talk can help some of you or at least makes you smile. I felt like I needed to write this down for myself, and then I thought that there are (hopefully) other people out there who can relate to this. So, if you're guilty of living in your head for parts of the day, feel free to share what you are daydreaming about! I'd love to hear that I'm not the only (crazy) one out there :)
"The world is not in your books, it's out there." - J.R.R. Tolkien